Desi Wedding Problems

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Its that time alright. You’ve fought long and hard, you’ve kept secrets from your khandaan, escaped the eyes of Pakistani TV media personalities and now you’re here. It was a long and arduous journey till the baat pakki and now your wedding day is upon you. Surely by now you must have learned it’s never going to be easy. Woh toh bus shuruwaat thi.

However, that’s not to say everyone has it rough, not every family is opposed to a love marriage or more specifically the guy/girl of your choice, and even smoother is an arranged marriage. Yes, you might cry yourself to sleep because you couldn’t marry the guy/girl you wanted but it’s ok, kyun k family bohat achi hai aur paisa bohath hai. That’s sure to soothe the pain, because when you have problems throw money at it. 

Coming back to the topic at hand, your wedding is coming up! Get ready to deal with lots of problems because arranging a wedding is no easy task. Here’s something you might face



We’re going to start off by listing the most important problem in this article. Food.

Why? Because more than the bride and the groom, this is what’s going to be talked about on your wedding and after. We all know people who only go to weddings for the food. I mean it’s the only time where you get to go on an all you can eat buffet. Nobody wants to hear the khana acha nahi tha. So the majority of your time is going to be spent finding the right caterer, because not every dish on the menu is going to win awards. Someone’s kebabs might be really good but biryani a disappointment, where as someone might do the karahi really well, but totally mess up the paye.

And more than other people, it’s your own family you fear the most, because their approval is what you’re yearning for. I mean will you settle to hear the words ”oh god, the food was very average, so much tael, not like our shaguftah wedding haan. Chalo not everyone can afford good caterers.”


The Missing Invite

God forbid if you don’t deliver a wedding card personally all hell will break loose. 2019 folks, you can’t just send a digital invite on “the what’s up”, that’s so rude. No no no, you have to personally go to deliver printed invitation to everyone. You have to DHL or TCS the invite if a rishtedar is living abroad, I mean if you can’t go on a flight and personally deliver it to them, then this is the least you can do. However, If you forget to send it to anyone, consider bonds being broken, family members gossiping about you, tarnishing your reputation.

“Did you know shagufta ki shaadi hai, usnay card bhi nahi bheja, i had to hear it from my daughter that there’s a Facebook group asking her to save the date. I mean what nonsense.”

“Ithni to tameez hothi, k card dede, matlab shaadi hain, khud ki phupo ko bhool jatha hai koi? Anyway i hope the food is good.”

These are the people that don’t understand that with so much planning sometimes a person genuinely forgets. So if you find anything less than a 1000 rupee note in one of the envelopes you can be rest assured it’s from someone whom you forgot to give the card to. 


Larka Kaun Hai?

See it doesn’t matter how much you love him, it doesn’t matter, arranged or love, doesn’t matter if your family approves or disapproves, but the rest of the world only cares about the larka. Your phupos, the auntie’s your mom’s friends with, even your friends mother, they want to know. Here’s a little idea as to how” the larka kaun hai?” conversation goes down.


Aunty: So Farida what news, how’s everything?

Mom: bus our Aneela is getting married, abhi uski baath paki hoi hai

Aunty (eyebrows raised, eyes popping out of her sockets) : ohhh achaa, wow congratulations , bohath boahth mubarak  – translation (tumhari beti ko larka mil gaya? Meri beti ko kyun nahi mila abhi koi?)

Mom: haan last week hi hui thi.

Aunty: ohh acha, how lovely, waisay larka kaun hai? – translation (is he moneyed? Ghar kithna bara hai? Passport hai? Influential family? Job kiya kartha hai? Settled hai?

Mom:  oh very nice boy, Aneela ki class mai tha

Aunty (doesn’t know how to maintain smile): oh achaa. Chalo Allah khush rakhay.

Now this conversation will be repeated many times, and the majority of the times it will be repeated with a third person most probably between two aunties. And believe you me a lot will be said and discussed.


The Jewellery 

You need the right jewellery for your wedding dress, after all the heavy jora you’ve spent thousands on isn’t going to cut it, you need to accessorise it with jewellery. Your mom in law might want you to wear the necklace she wore on her wedding day, maybe your mom wants to do the same. Who do you make happy? However, you see that doesn’t matter because regardless of what you wear and how much you wear, all people are interested in is whether its real or not, and how much it costs.


Unnecessary Advice

People love giving advice, maybe it’s because they genuinely want to help but for a new bride and groom it may well be completely unnecessary. After all, it’s not like what happened to you might happen to them. And mostly this advice always comes from relatives, they want to share their expertise on the matter, because obviously once you’re married you know everything about marriages. What they don’t realise is this can be extremely daunting for a new couple, especially if it’s arranged. Like no Beenish aunty I don’t want to know if it’s advisable to eat spicy food the day before your wedding. After all who can eat with all that mehndi on your hands anyway.


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