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Motivation

The Mistakes Brides Always Make

 

Stay clear of these mistakes brides make on the big day!

 

Everything you’ve ever wanted to know about wedding planning but were too afraid to ask. We’re here to help you every step of the way as you get organised to plan the best day ever.

 

The path to getting married is littered with missteps. There are a few wedding mistakes brides always make. Don’t let them happen to you. 

We spoke with several brides and asked them if they had to do it over, what would they have done differently? Here’s what most of the had to say 

 

– “I would have budgeted better.”

– “I would have focused more on how to record the day.”

– “I would have spent more time enjoying the reception.”

– “I wouldn’t have stressed so much.”

 

But this isn’t just it, where should you begin so your wedding planning starts on solid footing? “Once your budget is established, you can make smart decisions on hiring the right team of vendors who work best with your personalities and will execute your vision for the day. If everything is going as planned, you obviously won’t be stressed and have more time enjoying the reception. 

 

Still, even the most vigilant bride can be steered off course, and you don’t want to make the same mistakes other brides have. 

 

THE VERY FIRST MISTAKE BRIDES MAKE APART FROM ALL THAT THAT’S MENTIONED ABOVE IS THAT; 

 

You Don’t Put Yourself First

 

Your wedding day is about committing your life to that one person for the rest of your life. This is pretty serious. As much as you or anyone else LOVE details, flowers, and a gorgeous designer dress, your wedding day needs to be about you two and not about getting it published. All the details come in second place.

 

You Don’t Say Hello to Everyone

 

These days, most couples forgo the formal post-ceremony receiving line. If you have a big family obviously not saying hello will upset your phopos, chachis, mamis and others. Make an effort to find something sincere and personal to say to each guest (only then they’ll have something nice to say about your manners). 

 

Arrange Someone To Take Care Of The Food

 

Now when we talk about taking care of the food at a desi wedding, we mean… well, someone who makes sure the waiters serve the food on time, they don’t waste the food and once everyone’s done eating they pack the food properly. This takes hours to sort out. 

 

You Over Decorate

 

No wedding feels truly complete without wedding decorations. However simple they may be.

First things first, what should you decorate? You don’t really have to decorate every single nook and cranny to make a huge impact, as long as you focus on these basic wedding decoration elements.

 

Provide Extra Seats at the Ceremony

 

Whoever belongs to a desi family knows, you’re always invited everywhere. So just know, you will always need roughly 20 more chairs than there are people when you’re having a desi wedding. 

 

Over-Scheduling Your Photographer

 

Timing is significant on your wedding day and making sure that you have allocated enough time for your wedding photographer can make a huge difference to the quality and beauty of your wedding pictures; impressive candid shots need time and cannot be rushed. Of course, the logistics of each wedding can vary a lot. You should take into account that hair and makeup preparations can sometimes run over schedule. Make sure that your wedding photographer and hairstylist/make-up artist are aware of your wedding day timeline; your wedding preparations only happen once and you should ensure that there will be enough time for everything, especially photography.

 

Leave Enough Time for Wedding Dress Alterations

 

When you find your wedding dress, you may think the hard part is over…but when the dress arrives, you are likely to have something altered. Even if the dress fits you perfectly at that time, leave enough time before the wedding day to check if the dress still fits you perfectly or not. 

 

You Can’t Let Go of the Little Things

 

Many brides can count on at least one hand the details that did not go according to plan. Just know everything cannot go according to what you’ve planned, that doesn’t mean your day is ruined. The key is to let them happen and enjoy the day. 

 

You Forget to Eat

 

Last but not least among the things brides forget is to eat. Your wedding day is a very busy, overwhelming day. Get a good breakfast and plenty of water. And then enjoy everything that’s served at the event, you’ve earned it. After months of not eating, focusing on your body, you’ve finally achieved what you’ve wanted. Now EAT and enjoy your day. 

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Post event anxiety or stress is normal because we always have a vision in our minds of how something will go and of course, it never quite matches up. While many newlyweds are blissed out, others are hit with the post-wedding blues, and it can be debilitating. Big life changes — even positive ones like an engagement, or marriage, can trigger stress, anxiety and other negative emotions. 

The important part is to examine your feelings and make sure the anxiety is about the Event and not your new spouse. As a bride or groom, you are facing a difficult adjustment period in the first year, and the “post-wedding stress” just doesn’t make it any easier. Good news. This effect is temporary. Life will soon return to normal, and with it, your perspective and humor. 

The key to avoiding the post-wedding blues is organization; the more prepared you are, the less you’ll suffer afterwards. 

 

– It is not unusual to feel down after the intense planning and preparations – and being the focus of attention. Suddenly, it’s all over. There’s no use stressing about it. Remind yourself how well you’ve done, even if everything doesn’t quite go to plan. Holding on to some perspective helps to lessen the post-wedding blues. Go do couple things… You’re married now, so go out as a married couple. Discover new things together, be proactive, not depressed.

 

– The psychological transition you’re making from single woman to married woman can sometimes be overwhelming. In order to grow into the new lifestyle and identity as a married person, you must shed the old identity as single. Your hormones and psychology may flail slightly given the emotional height of the day and the big commitment you’ve made, but it’s usually nothing to worry about. Share it with other newly weds. Search for other recently married women who may have the same feelings of the “after-wedding blues.”

 

– You’re not as occupied anymore, the wedding sucked up a lot of time. And now you suddenly have your evenings free. All the stress of planning—or putting up with your fiancée’s planning, now you don’t have all that to do so you’re bored. And boredom leads to depression. Get involved with something new. Discover a new passion, and dive in headfirst.

 

– Recognise that your wedding isn’t the same as your marriage. You should accept that you’re going to get back to a different ‘normal’ & marriage is life-changing. But when you think about the lovely and loving reasons that brought you here, you should feel better almost immediately. You just have to remember that you had a beautiful wedding day and focus on the next positive thing in your life! Your married life. Sticking to the positive will help you more than you expect. you expect.

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Its that time alright. You’ve fought long and hard, you’ve kept secrets from your khandaan, escaped the eyes of Pakistani TV media personalities and now you’re here. It was a long and arduous journey till the baat pakki and now your wedding day is upon you. Surely by now you must have learned it’s never going to be easy. Woh toh bus shuruwaat thi.

However, that’s not to say everyone has it rough, not every family is opposed to a love marriage or more specifically the guy/girl of your choice, and even smoother is an arranged marriage. Yes, you might cry yourself to sleep because you couldn’t marry the guy/girl you wanted but it’s ok, kyun k family bohat achi hai aur paisa bohath hai. That’s sure to soothe the pain, because when you have problems throw money at it. 

Coming back to the topic at hand, your wedding is coming up! Get ready to deal with lots of problems because arranging a wedding is no easy task. Here’s something you might face

 

Food/Catering

We’re going to start off by listing the most important problem in this article. Food.

Why? Because more than the bride and the groom, this is what’s going to be talked about on your wedding and after. We all know people who only go to weddings for the food. I mean it’s the only time where you get to go on an all you can eat buffet. Nobody wants to hear the khana acha nahi tha. So the majority of your time is going to be spent finding the right caterer, because not every dish on the menu is going to win awards. Someone’s kebabs might be really good but biryani a disappointment, where as someone might do the karahi really well, but totally mess up the paye.

And more than other people, it’s your own family you fear the most, because their approval is what you’re yearning for. I mean will you settle to hear the words ”oh god, the food was very average, so much tael, not like our shaguftah wedding haan. Chalo not everyone can afford good caterers.”

 

The Missing Invite

God forbid if you don’t deliver a wedding card personally all hell will break loose. 2019 folks, you can’t just send a digital invite on “the what’s up”, that’s so rude. No no no, you have to personally go to deliver printed invitation to everyone. You have to DHL or TCS the invite if a rishtedar is living abroad, I mean if you can’t go on a flight and personally deliver it to them, then this is the least you can do. However, If you forget to send it to anyone, consider bonds being broken, family members gossiping about you, tarnishing your reputation.

“Did you know shagufta ki shaadi hai, usnay card bhi nahi bheja, i had to hear it from my daughter that there’s a Facebook group asking her to save the date. I mean what nonsense.”

“Ithni to tameez hothi, k card dede, matlab shaadi hain, khud ki phupo ko bhool jatha hai koi? Anyway i hope the food is good.”

These are the people that don’t understand that with so much planning sometimes a person genuinely forgets. So if you find anything less than a 1000 rupee note in one of the envelopes you can be rest assured it’s from someone whom you forgot to give the card to. 

 

Larka Kaun Hai?

See it doesn’t matter how much you love him, it doesn’t matter, arranged or love, doesn’t matter if your family approves or disapproves, but the rest of the world only cares about the larka. Your phupos, the auntie’s your mom’s friends with, even your friends mother, they want to know. Here’s a little idea as to how” the larka kaun hai?” conversation goes down.

 

Aunty: So Farida what news, how’s everything?

Mom: bus our Aneela is getting married, abhi uski baath paki hoi hai

Aunty (eyebrows raised, eyes popping out of her sockets) : ohhh achaa, wow congratulations , bohath boahth mubarak  – translation (tumhari beti ko larka mil gaya? Meri beti ko kyun nahi mila abhi koi?)

Mom: haan last week hi hui thi.

Aunty: ohh acha, how lovely, waisay larka kaun hai? – translation (is he moneyed? Ghar kithna bara hai? Passport hai? Influential family? Job kiya kartha hai? Settled hai?

Mom:  oh very nice boy, Aneela ki class mai tha

Aunty (doesn’t know how to maintain smile): oh achaa. Chalo Allah khush rakhay.

Now this conversation will be repeated many times, and the majority of the times it will be repeated with a third person most probably between two aunties. And believe you me a lot will be said and discussed.

 

The Jewellery 

You need the right jewellery for your wedding dress, after all the heavy jora you’ve spent thousands on isn’t going to cut it, you need to accessorise it with jewellery. Your mom in law might want you to wear the necklace she wore on her wedding day, maybe your mom wants to do the same. Who do you make happy? However, you see that doesn’t matter because regardless of what you wear and how much you wear, all people are interested in is whether its real or not, and how much it costs.

 

Unnecessary Advice

People love giving advice, maybe it’s because they genuinely want to help but for a new bride and groom it may well be completely unnecessary. After all, it’s not like what happened to you might happen to them. And mostly this advice always comes from relatives, they want to share their expertise on the matter, because obviously once you’re married you know everything about marriages. What they don’t realise is this can be extremely daunting for a new couple, especially if it’s arranged. Like no Beenish aunty I don’t want to know if it’s advisable to eat spicy food the day before your wedding. After all who can eat with all that mehndi on your hands anyway.

 

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